some of the stuff on here is utter crap. some of it im really proud of. Im still gonna recylce this on steemit because ITS MINES. and plus I upgraded the mofo.
xxoo
Lima Being
OH HAI STEEMIT BETCHES
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Gratitude
It’s gr and attitude but it makes so much space for others.
so many thoughts, not enough types
First surgery, then friend stuff, now the insane holiday hours. It’s effing nonstop. NON. STOP. my gahd.
I’m too tired to think, let alone type. But I’m forcing myself to do it without actually having a goal or thesis or even a story. Basically this is really gonna suck for whomever is reading this.
I could mention that there is a tv show called SUPER STORE which is clearly about Walmart, but I feel it really, really fails to deliver the tragic reality of such a job/workplace. I mean, this is a store that has a website dedicated to harassing the poorly dressed customers that frequent the place (another reason why I stopped wearing pajamas to the grocery store.. mufukin everybody a gotcha journalist these days~~) I have been thinking about creating such a tv show for a year now about the happenings in my place of work, which shall not be named, and the personal stories of the customers and workers. I would want it to be funny, but also very real. Clerks would be closer to what I’m looking for except that its just those idiots talking rather than actual stories highlighting the insanity of the retail experience.
And now I’m too tired to write more.
I’m posting again because I haven’t posted anything in way too long so don’t read this cuz ..yea..
sleep oertakes me. my mind has been going in a million different directions since I was silent on this blog thing. I constantely think of things I wanna say but im so afraid of not saying it right. Sometimes I think my life is a movie. People I meet have excellent dialogue. Other times I feel as if its a poorly written novel and wondering when (if at all) the plot will thicken. Perhaps I should add some flour. That said, I can’t add flour to everything. I suppose I just need to meet some more interesting people or hook up with someone. Safely, of course. On second thought I think I’m just gonna watch the latest episode of Agents of Shield that I missed while I was hunting for crafting supplies yesterday. Yes, hunting. I found a stockpile. One step closer to having stuff that resembles birthday and/or christmas presents. Happy Holidays. >.<
An Open Letter to Myself (not at 6, not at one hundred, but today)
Dear Self of Today,
Just because you are “young” and “feelin kinda good” doesn’t mean you can bust off the change of your doctor ordered light duty. Sure, you miss the feel of the wind on your face, getting to work quickly, and feeling like a badass for getting exercise in the most convenient way possible. Furthermore, just because you had a bad day, are sore, and feel like you hae worked hard enough to earn a treat doesn’t mean you should buy, and eat and entire bag of doritos. Sure, it was cheaper to get the big bag. Well, it would have been if you had spread it out. I love you, but, get it together!!
Sincerely,
Also Self of Today
Look, Another Bad Project By ME
I’m doing a FUNdraiser for a couple months in pursuit of following a whim. I want more people to think of “homelessness” as a level/variation. Staying in a shelter is not the beginning and its NOT the END. We can do some things to help people on their journey. Bring the joy of denial through pampering.
http://support.pinestreetinn.org/goto/lisamarie
^^ this is just money but that helps too.
COming soon are details on a luxury toiletries drive: lotions, perfume, makeup… etc.
Sick Life. SicK Beat. You + Me (sic).
Sic
adverb, Latin.
1.
so; thus: usually written parenthetically to denote that a word, phrase, passage, etc., that may appear strange or incorrect has been written intentionally or has been quoted verbatim: He signed his name as e. e. cummings (sic).
verb (used with object), sicked or sicced
Latin.
The universe is tellin me that I’m swellin in with gifts– Even though your thoughts are swift– I rock the past participle presence in the chex mix– master the bastard but it doesn’t make sense. It may appear strange or incorrect but I feel like you love me and I love you. Whats love got to do? Love doesn’t pay these bills or put clothes on the babies backs. Love creates heart attacks– love is cholestoral fat butterball baby love melts the candle wax while tryna burn the midnight oil. Love is silly shit. Thats not life. Silly shit doesn’t equal respect. The golden beast of life is our big britches beggin for love from empty places where souls get sick.
sic1or sick
[sik]
[sikt] (Show IPA), sicking or siccing.
1.
to attack (used especially in commanding a dog):
Sic ’em!
2.
to incite to attack (usually followed by on).
Souls sicked on_ I build the bricks on, whatever sticks on, chewing gum and duct tape_Abruptly disgust wakes the part of my heart that hates_ I’m sick, I need a fix of oxygen to understand my thoughts again_ I woke up screaming with holes in my body_ We both, sucked up into lust, bobbing_silly, bougie, bouncing boobies dance in dilapidated apartment on the floor but nothing mattered when you looked into my eyes. I’m sick. I need to get well.
Sic semper tyrannis
[seek sem-per ty–rahn-nis; English sik sem-per ti-ran-is]
1.
thus always to tyrants (motto of the State of Virginia).
And thus I find myself in a “state” of Virginia_Prostituting myself for scraps of joy__I’ve got a bridge in Arizona, I can sell water toys__Thus to slaughter and annoy__the branded prep school golden boy__he wants to get wild with me__Thus always using stylists, drawing circles on my software_Its time to get SIC, to attack, my love is to big to fail_Thus my faerie minions do my bidding__Thus this is the beginning_ Thus “we” (sic) pissing poetry, bleeding prose, and crusting over my shit which yes, smells like roses. Don’t forget.
Thus always to tyrants. I fell for you once. Here I am again.
Now you move on and on, sadly (sic).
First of all. Hi. I’ve fallen and I stamp sht up.
Here I am. Did you miss me? The three people that read this blog probably forgot I exist but like Em says, “it feels so EM-pty without me”
I have some new motivation. I got my name in another spot on the internets http://www.classism.org/10-times-classism-hurt-jesus/
yea, these cats actually let me write a blog post on their legit website!!
I’m feeling highly motivated at the moment and it was in a timely manner. I’ve got a lot of ideas ready to burst out my brainium. Hopefully those of you reading are ready to start spreading the good word about the honorable work of the dishonorable priestess of prose, Lisa Marie.
Next up– pissing poetry.
If you haven’t yet, don’t forget to check out this great work of art:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0QtdISwioc&list=PLXjheddE7eqPaK_6lhgmAi2UWwH6g33Iy
Isn’t It Ironic? IsN’T IT!?!?
Ever since I was a teenager I’ve had a love hate relationship with this word. My experience with irony has been, well, traumatic is putting it lightly. Actually thats not true I just wanted to say something like that for dramatic effect, but then I realized it was cliche so I had to let you know that it’s not actually true because I would never be that cliche… on accident. My first experience with irony was of course harsh, foreign, and slightly awkward. I can’t remember if I cried afterward but I am very confident that it was similar to my first time working retail. Thats right, it was when I watched the film “Reality Bites”. This is a show that basically defined all of the characters in my life that I wanted to be as an adult, yet had no idea how or when I would obtain it. They were college graduates figuring out life in the city and even though at the time I thought college was for yuppies, I desperately wanted to appear educated. For those of you who’ve never seen it. Here is the mindfuck of a script (with commentary ala moi):
[At a job interview with pompous newspaper guy]Mr. Pompous: Define irony.
Lelaini [Wynona Ryder]: Irony. Uh… Irony. It’s a noun. It’s when something is… ironic. It’s, uh… Well, I can’t really define irony… but I know it when I see it! [Depressing elevator scene after horrible interview but then she runs into her brooding friend/lover musician type guy]
Lelaini: Hey. Hey. Oh, my god. I’ve never been so glad… to see anyone in my entire life. This day has been the biggest nightmare. I mean, these job interviews, Troy… the word vivisection, a staggering understatement. Can you define irony?
Troy [as he is hunkered over coffee with a lit cigarette, his greasy post-hippie grunge hair, and his beat generation hand-me-down that later became hipster clothes] :It’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite… from the literal meaning.
Lelaini: Yeah. My god.
The truth is that it took me years to dissect that message. When Alanis Morisette came through in her car full of crazies I still didn’t get it. [ this time I have the video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUcI love that song and felt it’s true that bad stuff happens. That’s basically the song. LIFE SUCKS. Is that irony? What’s ironic, is how fucking happy/sweet sounding the song is. Thats the probably the ironic part. maybe. I discovered this when people started realizing that the song was in fact not actually irony. At one point there was a big hub-bub about this fact on the internets:
“‘The loose “use of irony and ironically, to mean an incongruous turn of events, is trite. Not every coincidence, curiosity, oddity and paradox is an irony, even loosely. And where irony does exist, sophisticated writing counts on the reader to recognize it.’ Alanis Morissette’s song “Ironic” is equally useful. If it rains on your wedding day, that’s a coincidence, not an irony. If you win the lottery and drop dead before claiming the money, it’s good luck followed by bad luck. If you meet the man of your dreams and then meet his beautiful wife, it’s a bummer. But if a song called “Ironic” contains no irony, is that in itself ironic? Nope”
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/isnt-it-ironic-probably-not/?_r=0I guess they felt the same depth of internal frustration about Reality Bites because the article also alluded to it. I also found a TON of blog posts about how frustrating irony is so I know that I’m not alone in this.
Now, you may be asking yourself: “BUT LISA MARIE WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT!?!?”
Hah! you thought there was going to be a point to this post?
Daily Affirmations n Shit: It’s on the tip of my next epiphany.
Just in case you forgot what my face looks like while I’m thinkin realll hard (in super awesome glasses) I put this in for ya.
I’ve been talking about my new therapist a lot and today is no different. He gives me a LOT to think about.
And what am I thinking?
I’m thinking that its all I can do is think– and feel–but not together, not in harmonious concert.
My therapist is trying to convince me otherwise. But I don’t know if him convincing me will actually get me to the river and help me to drink.
Okay, you’re lost. Let me break it down:
– I am depressed about a lot of things.
– I am anxious about a lot of things.
– I get caught up in these emotions and start arguing or crying
– I waste a lot of time trying to make shit happen
– None of this is serving me well in my pursuit to make my life and/or the world a better place.
– AND, I’m afraid of not working hard enough and being complicit through lack of action
There’s more but that’s about all I can pinpoint right now.
Sorry, that’s all I got for today.
destroythemetaphor 