All in a day in the life of a self-designated SJW, I unwittingly opened a can of race bait that resulted in me being called the N-word for the first time inmy life. In case you didn’t know, I’m white and it wasn’t street use of the word. Yup, this is a real tongue twister. Lets see if I can unravel it.
Today I had engaged friendly yet sharp discussion about the relationship between the news, potential victims of rape/molestation, and the accused.
It all began, humbly, on (where else) Facebook…
With the sharing of this article:
“Shame on you Hermiston Herald! Nothing but speculation! Get your facts together before you go ruining people’s lives! This article has about as much to back it up as the articles in the National Enquirer!”
I’m not sure what the previous article said (it was edited), but within the comment thread it was treated as such that the current article was also grossly misrepresented.
We had a little bit of a back and forth with me on the supporting end of the victims and also the report. That seemed to be pretty much it. The OP thanked me for the debate.
But then I saw a comment from someone else that…really… it needed my attention. He was begging for someone to respond.
Never one to disappoint/backdown
I decided to turn the tables with a more offensive response in my signature, AND WHAT!?! style.
I will agree, my first response could be seen as a bit “trollish” but doesn’t the troll of a troll cancel itself out? He made a sexist comment that is ridiculous and untrue, I made a comment that is ridiculous and has been proven to be true:
A. Although this doesn’t highlight male vs. female, the number of rapists who are actually incarcerated is at 2 %
Thus my comment “if only that were true”
B. It is well known that black men, while also being a minority populating are incarcerated at a higher rate than white men.
Although a logical conclusion should result here are some details of those wrongfully convicted: http://www.innocenceproject.org/news-events-exonerations/african-american-wrongful-convictions-today
Thats today. Back in the day? They were hung.
Lets get back to the conversation at hand. Apparently, when I thought I was making a terse point to an avid misogynist, I was unlocking an onslaught of unconscious racism.
Yea, when he saidyou’re one of those I too thought he meant a SJW Feminist Bitch, and infact proceeded to respond that way before seeing this slew of comments:
Now, I realize that a “nice” country boy that married a Hispanic-American is getting a REAL shock on a few fronts so I can understand him being a little unraveled. But I had NO CLUE where this came from or was going. I was so shocked by his statements at first I didn’t even realize how racist he was– just that he thought I was black for some reason. Now, I’ve had people tell me that I think I’m black, or urgently reminding me that I’m white, and even been given the “hehehe u like that jungle juice hehehe” garbage. But never, has anyone ever not only assumed I was black, but then ranted on some racist hate shit that I couldn’t even comprehend.
Apparently he couldn’t comprehend it either.
**authors note: just like being gay, you don’t suddenly turn racist. If it comes out, it’s been there ALLLL ALLLOOONNG. Luckily, unlike being gay– you can unlearn ignorance**
Basically, he’s confused, because apparently he has black friends, but he was so offended by my bold use of the words BLACK and DICK together that he saw a new side of himself?
[NOTE: I wrote those words reallll big because they are not offense. Not alone or together. The fact that a woman is saying them doesn’t change that they are the same that a man would say. There is nothing to fear from black dicks. They are attached to a variety of beautiful, intellectual, spiritual, fiesty, funny, nerdy, strong, soft, awkward, charming and whatever-else good/bad thing you can think of type of people.]
I really want to talk about this phenomenon of the white male’s response to intellectual women with an aggressive voice and the fear of black/minority take over. WHY? because this isn’t the first time that I’ve encountered this type of response when I am debating race/crime/feminist issues. It’s not quite as bad when talking about classism, although shockingly I do come up with some issues in that area with people from East. Oregon. When race and issues of feminism such as rape are combined, apparently its a powder keg for those with the fragile white-country boy ego. This is speculation of course, but I would be pleasantly surprised to find more men who aren’t the exception.
Not only is it so incredibly common on the internet that a white male would come up with a defense in this way, but its supported through the women and other “innocent” men that are friends/relatives with these people. I feel VERY strongly that the types of discussions happening in cities along the lines of race, gender, class, and socio-politics NEED to happen in rural areas. Yes, city guys get like this too, but it’s harder for them to get away with it. In the country, women do not want to cause friction with their already small pool of companions.
Clearly, this young woman doesn’t understand how the words he’s using against me could quickly be used against her. I hope they never do. I hope that he opens his eyes, but I don’t know. The conversation was deleted shortly after I got the screenshots.
I’ve done it too.
One of my “favorite” uncles is the biggest racist that I know. Growing up, he even offended me in so many ways, but somehow I had learned to let these things go and give him a pass and treat him with kindness and love. To this day I find myself telling talking to the women instead of wasting time with arrogant men. This is the type of thing that allows women to get harassed and bullied for speaking their mind.
We have to find ways to talk about these things and be open to discussing things fairly–to step outside of our own feelings because its really quite logical why changes need to be made. It has nothing to do with heart.
Please, if you have someone on your page that harasses you or someone else for their opinion (calling them names, making assumptions, sending an onslaught of texts, telling them to get out..etc or making threats) don’t allow it. You can tell your friend/relative that they are out of line without making big fight. Truthfully, when someone STARTS a fight, neither you or I are complicit to any of their behavior. I use my words powerfully and for much too long have I apologized and silenced myself because I emasculated someone because they didn’t expect me to have the power to do so. I have been called names so often that I don’t even cry over it anymore– but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen. Writing about it doesn’t mean that it is good for me either.
I’d rather not have to write about this.
I’d rather write about happy adventures and love poems and kittens, I promise.