Daily Fucking Affirmations N SHit: Task Master Blaster Be Bop A Loo.

Starting to get back on your feet after a “spiritual awakening” and the crumbling of all your optimist delusions (such as a non-profit that “saves at risk teens” and makes them artists and social entrepreneurs with no backing, business skills, and a penchant for losing your shit over stress) AHEM, is very nerve-wracking. Maybe its just me since I’m often nerve-wracked but I’ve never been great a balance when it comes to being active. As previously mentioned, I often go, like an unstoppable train running downhill. I’ve seen a lot of crashes with this type of approach and not a whole lot of saved lives or financial gain. One should really have one or the other but apparently they go hand in hand strangely.

This year I have really just shut the train station down. I spent time on therapy; Thinking about love and what I really want; battling with who I am; and sitting on my butt–only getting up for what I REALLY want. It’s been lonely, but also somehow it wasn’t that bad. I stopped playing music and started writing. More and more, little by little I find myself enjoying it and getting positive feedback. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me that I suck at writing and I’m boring so I should really stop. We shall see what the future brings. Eitherway, I started writing and riding a bike that was given to me, and friends came back into my life this summer. Now I find myself wanting to sing again, wanting to be a part of something–to build something. The train is rumbling in the tracks. 

Today I will do repairs on the train and the road. I will train the conductors to take it easy and pack the load light. We will treat all of our passengers the best we can. We will try to show them love and respect and protect them from train pirates and otherwise random attackers. Hopefully I can show those people love to. I’m not sure how to carry a load, keep the train running, convince pirates to turn around, and still enjoy my morning tea in the dining car. But I will. I will turn on some alternapop and keep breathing today. Gettin stuff done on my way to work, and it will seep into tomorrow. Which you will SEE a new story/comedic/poetry piece. AND I will also clean my room. This is daily fucking affirmations for two, lol. Lets get it. 

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