Daily Fucking Affirmations N Shit: Okay Train, Pull The Breaks and Crawl (oops its 1 am)

Realizing that life is a journey isn’t an instant        “actualized” drink. Its a process of a process  that may not even end when we are dead. It’s a way to move through the moment, while still managing to be present in it. A journey isn’t the past, future, or the present until it starts or ends. But life is one that started before we knew and ends only on Earth terms. The past, the  present, the future– the are ALL the journey at once. The mind and the body take it all into count. It helps me to slow down, this concept.

That said, I am very used to jumping the FUTURE train that’s headed NON-STOP to Perfect Ideal Town. But then I get distracted, bored, tired, AND/OR I actually have to build a relationship with another sensitive human being. Sometimes it’s almost easier to just bulldoze without stopping to think and sometimes its easier to overthink and destroy something good before you get hurt. My body has given me these “gifts” to protect me from the pain that I don’t want and get me through rough waters. The actualized journey loving human in me has found these gifts tend to disrupt good stuff though.

Today I had to pull the breaks on a lot of stuff and remind myself to find new paths instead of doing the same shit over and over. I’m impatient with everything still. I want to be somewhere, because I’m not happy here. But getting anywhere safely, without burning down everything in my path means that I have to learn how the lay of the land, leave tracks, follow established trails, and make peace with the environment. Sometimes that environment is unpleasant in some ways, even though I know that’s where I have to be for the time being. I wanna find a shortcut. But danger lurks there. And, I risk getting lost.

Its okay to crawl. Its okay to stop.

Its okay to be busy with something else and then do your writing late at night when you can barely keep your eyes awake.

Just take control of the train and watch the terrain, Ms Prose.

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