Future Lover Stream of Rant

I want a lover that will help me go slow but still show me lots of affection. I want a lover that finds me beautiful and kisses all my most embarrassing spots like those weird stretch marks that came outta nowhere and the stubble on my toes. I want a lover that wants to stay and tells me so but doesn’t smother me because they’ve got dreams. They’ve got dreams that align with mine but aren’t the same. maybe they match. I want a lover that will hold my hand in the street and kiss me on the cheek when I’m not looking but not fondle my ass and make me an object unless I’ve been so romanced that I don’t even notice. I want a lover that stays calm through my stormy seas but doesn’t build walls that I can’t see though. I want a lover with soft skin and I know that’s superficial but I want a lover that takes care of their skin and their hair and works out at least a little but not too much. I want a lover that smells like the earth but not stinky hippy stench. Maybe sandelwood or old spice. I want a lover that has deep eyes that fall into deep thoughts without falling into a panick like I do. I want a lover that is impressed by feminism– impressed by strong women. I want a lover that wants me to be strong and helps me be that but doesn’t fall apart when I stand up or take control. I want a lover that can fight playfully becuse they built trust with me and I trust them and we both know there is love in the end. I want a lover that wants to go to the ice cream shop with me and sit upside down and gaze without feeling awkward or alone. I want a lover that listens to what I’m saying and challenges me without overpowering me– a lover that makes me think about myself and my choices but doesn’t force it. I’m gonna get superficial again and I know that its not all about the exterior cuz its not but I want a lover that has either strong eyebrows, long-lashes, big lucious lips, dimples, a strong chin and jawline, or any combination therein. I want a lover that isn’t afraid of the word love and knows the VERB love. I want a lover that will help me to further explore myself but also open to letting me seep into them a little. I want a lover that is honest. They can be on the edge of rude  but not straight up mean and definitely culturally aware, if not an activist. I want a lover that is willing to fight for causes but approaches them with wisdom and careful steps. I want an educated lover. I want a lover that is a little bit quite but speaks volumes in minutes. I want a lover that knows how to touch a woman and finds pleasure in it. I want a lover that can make love to me with their eyes and hands without actually engaging the organs. I want a lover that likes my singing. I want a lover that likes my jokes and maybe even has a few. They can be corny or insanely funny, but jokes. Keep em coming. I want a lover that’s a little bit weird once you get to know them. I want a lover that dresses sharp as a tack but in a casual way. Ope here I go again. I want a lover with thick legs and a round bottom. Yes, I like big butts. I want it and I’m not supposed to lie or hide. I want a lover with strength and also wants me to be strong and encourages my attempts to get there. I want a lover that finds my oddities endearing instead of annoying or frightneing. I want a lover that loves my passion and respects my voice and pursuit of accuracy. I want a lover that opens doors for everyone and doesn’t make a big deal if I open a door for them. I want a love that has a big, bright, smile that is totally authentic without the slightest hint of sleaze or deceit. I want a lover that has a hearty laugh but doesn’t laugh at every single joke– only when something is truly funny. I want a lover that will nerd out with me by playing games or going on dates that require thinking or learning something new. I want a lover that isn’t afraid to tell their parents about me but also wants to wait to tell them because I’m special and they want to keep me to themselves for a while. I want a lover with a warm family. I want a lover that is open to adoption or kids or both but willing to wait a little bit for it. I want a lover that never gets old in the heart. I want a lover that is open spiritually and puts no pressure on me to go any certain way but isn’t totally shut off from the magical unknowns of the universe. I want a lover that can dance a little and take control without being too forceful. Nothing fancy, just a little 2- step, hustle,  or   salsa or willing to take a class with me. I want a lover that isn’t careless but also willing to try new things.  I want a lover that likes my spontaneous nature, but also makes plans sometimes. I want a lover that understands my mixed-up background but doesn’t pity me for it. I want a lover that is proud to be with me. I want a lover that can be serious or silly. I want a lover that understands the struggles of poverty but isn’t broken by it. I want a lover is at least willing to tromp through the woods with me to appreciate nature rather than destroy. I want a lover that is an omnivore and enjoys cooking. i want a lover that remembers people and thinks about how they are doing even if they don’t catch up. I want a lover that is proud of themselves and a little bit accomplished but doesn’t boast constantly, if at all. I want a lover that has some sort of skill that is totally useless on top of the ones that make them money. This is a lot of things for a lover to be. I think there are things that I haven’t experienced that maybe I would like but I don’t know. These are the best parts of past lovers that I didn’t want to let go of but had to. I am sending this out into the world and we’ll see what happens. Energy mojo juju to the  universe. Do you hear me universe? I’m ready. 

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