Another fine update one my dance with prozac:
I’ve decided that Fluoxetine is the force that allows me to channel my energies in ways that others might. Sadly, I think I get battier every day. My doc bumped my up to 20 mg because I said “well everything is fine but I want to do BETTER than fine” The truth is that I am a very impatient person. Mostly, I’m impatient with myself while concurrently being incredibly lazy. It’s very weird being constantly at odds in this way. I’ve read that this is a normal human condition but somehow I have gathered a different set of coping mechanisms than the rest of the population. With the Fluoxy Force I am able to be consistent, to let things go, to speak without being choked by my anxiety and to face despair without taking the risk that I will be overcome by that thick blanket of depression. And while it clears the smoke: it leaves me exposed to the rest of my reality. This week I was so busy walking in the sun and taking pictures that I lost 1.5 pairs of shoes. I have started and stopped every cleaning job in my apt to the point that its actually cluttered with cleaning supplies everywhere. Not to mention that I now have 7 unfinished blog posts and a handful of comedy bits for my supposed eventual open mic explosion. I imagine it exactly that way. Thats one thing the Prozac/Fluoxy hasn’t cleared out. I am more imaginative than ever. Thus the Fluoxy Force Awakens 😉 No but seriously, I gotta talk to my therapist about getting ahold of this distractibility. For now, I’ve written something for the week. Yay me.