Feeling Fluoxy. Day 1.

–Well I hesitated all morning and hemmed and hawed about taking my asthma meds (decided against it) but I finally took my first pill of generic Prozac (fluoxetine). So far mostly no difference except feeling thirsty but that might be because I haven’t drank any water yet. Gonna save this and write more after work.

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Lisa’s Problematic Habits Checklist on prozac:

feeling strong anxiety when seeing people that I have had unresolved conflicts with
speaking on impulse without thinking clearly
mixing up my words when speaking about subjects that cause anxiety and tension
frustrated about whether roles are fair
overwhelmed/stressed under time pressure
feeling extremely low when customers are unhappy and I can not  find a way resolve their issues
unhappy when it appears that other people at work are not in a good mood
frustrated when other employees break rules and/or appear to be lazy
uncontrollable crying when I try to explain my frustrations to supervisors and/or when the few customers that don’t like me say it out loud that they think I am incompetent
– thinking of things to do at once and mixing them up
– Starting one project but not finishing it because I start another one
– Taking my time to do the job perfect rather than quickly
– Confused about instructions, statements, or questions
Respond to confusion with an anxious and defensive tone
– going over conflicts in my head and making arguments about them
*I have crossed out all of the things that were not present at work today.

I was nervous going to work, but I didn’t feel the nervousness in the same way that I normally do it. I felt a small tightness in my chest and I felt slightly awkward when I saw the people that I work with that I have had conflicts with in the past. But I was able to stay quiet about it and focus on the work. In fact I laughed with my other coworker and just let everyone else do what they wanted. I helped this adorable couple with their wedding photos and they promised to give me a compliment through the cvs.com survey.  I was smiling for 99% of the day. Eventually after a while the people that I work with noticed that I was laughing about stuff and they seemed to walk lighter around me. They told me stuff and for the most part I did whatever everyone wanted me to do and didn’t ask for fairness outside of taking my breaks. The main goal is for me to be happy at work, if that means I let someone else work on the floor while I am at the register all day I can do it as long as I can manage to be happy up there. Today, this medicine helped me to do that.As the day went on I felt so giddy about how things were going that I tried to question it. OH dear am i gonna be a ditzy smiling freak? And then I realized that this is who I am all the time, the anxiety and depression are the problem. Not the happiness. As long as its real smiles and real happiness– It’s ok. Damn. It’s gonna be ok.

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